What is a pick me girl?

A woman who seeks men's approval by setting herself apart from other women and putting them down. "I'm not like other girls" is the classic line. The interests don't matter. The put-down does.

What is a pick me boy?

The male version. He fishes for women's attention with self-pity ("no one would date me") or by performing sensitivity to look like the safe choice.

Is calling someone a pick me an insult?

Yes. It's a put-down, and it's often aimed unfairly at girls with "boyish" interests. Psychologists warn the label makes people defensive and can be as divisive as the behavior it mocks.

Where does pick me come from?

The plea is linked to Meredith Grey's "pick me, choose me, love me" speech on Grey's Anatomy in 2005. The slang label went viral on Black Twitter in 2016 and spread on TikTok from 2021.

Is a pick me the same as "not like other girls"?

Mostly. "Not like other girls" is the catchphrase of one pick-me style. Another style claims to be more traditional and wife-worthy than "modern" women. Both put other women down to stand out.

Is pick me the female version of simp?

It's often framed that way, but they differ. A simp over-invests in one person's attention. A pick me competes for approval by knocking down her peers.

pick me

[ PIK mee ] /ˈpɪk ˌmi/ (as in the plea: pick me!)

noun · also used as adjective ("so pick me", "pick-me behavior")

A pick me is someone, usually a woman, who seeks male approval by putting down other women: "I'm not like other girls." Men can be pick-mes too.

pick me has 3 meanings. Jump to: [Pick-me girl] [Pick-me boy] [Anyone seeking favor]

type noun since 2016 seen on tiktok, twitter-x, instagram, youtube, irl status current

Can you still say it?

pick me is current: in active, unremarkable use. Safe to say right now.

What does pick me mean?

1.
Pick-me girl: A woman who tries to win men's approval by setting herself apart from other women and putting them down. She disowns makeup or "girly" interests, or boasts she is more loyal or low-maintenance than the rest.
2.
Pick-me boy: The male version. He fishes for women's attention with self-pity that invites reassurance, or by performing "not like other guys" sensitivity.
3.
Anyone seeking favor: By extension, someone who sides against their own group to win favor with people who have more power. Think of an employee who throws coworkers under the bus to please the boss.

A pick me wants to be chosen, and will step on the competition to get there. The classic pick-me girl announces she's "not like other girls." She only has guy friends because girls are "too much drama," she hates pink, she watches football, and she makes sure the men in the room notice. The tell isn't the interests. It's the put-down of other women attached to them.

An older version runs the other way. The early pick me boasted about being wife material: she cooks, she forgives cheating, she stays home while other women go out. Either way the move is the same. Make yourself the better choice by making other women look worse.

Pick-me boys exist too. One type fishes for reassurance: "no girl would ever date me." Another performs sensitivity, the tote bag and the poetry book, to look like the safe choice. By extension anyone can be a pick me, like the coworker who flatters the boss by trashing the team.

Use it carefully. Liking football doesn't make anyone a pick me, and the label is often thrown at girls simply for having "boyish" interests. Psychologists warn that calling someone a pick me tends to make people defensive and can be as divisive as the behavior it mocks. It sits in a family with simp and glaze: a simp over-invests, a glazer over-praises, and a pick me competes.

Where did pick me come from?

The phrase is widely linked to Grey's Anatomy. In the season 2 episode "Bring the Pain," aired in October 2005, Meredith Grey begs Derek Shepherd to "pick me, choose me, love me." The scene made the plea famous, and its star has joked about inventing the pick-me girl, but no source shows the slang label coming straight from it.

The label was already in use on Twitter before it went viral. On Black Twitter, women dubbed this type of woman the "Pick Me". In late February and early March 2016, the parody hashtag #TweetLikeAPickMe mocked "wifey material" boasts about cooking, loyalty and staying home.

Around March 2021 the term took off again on TikTok through parody skits, including early pick-me boy skits. The meaning shifted toward the "not like other girls" type, and by 2023 the #pickmegirl hashtag had passed 3.4 billion views.

More sources: Pickme girl - Wikipedia · pick-me - Wiktionary · Citations: pick-me - Wiktionary · Experts explain the damage labeling 'Pick-me' girls can do - CNN · Ellen Pompeo on her 'Pick Me' scene from Grey's Anatomy - Parade · 'Pick Me' Girl - Know Your Meme (Wayback Machine)

How to use pick me in a sentence

she really said she only has guy friends bc girls are 'too much drama'... textbook pick me

not me realizing i was a full pick-me in 8th grade for announcing i 'hate pink'

liking football doesn't make her a pick me, the 'i'm not like other girls' speech does

In a conversation

he keeps posting his tote bag and a poetry book on his story

pick me boy behavior, he's farming the comments

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Don't confuse pick me with

simp: A simp over-invests in one person's attention. A pick me competes for approval by putting down her own peers.

Questions about pick me

What is a pick me girl?: A woman who seeks men's approval by setting herself apart from other women and putting them down. "I'm not like other girls" is the classic line. The interests don't matter. The put-down does.
What is a pick me boy?: The male version. He fishes for women's attention with self-pity ("no one would date me") or by performing sensitivity to look like the safe choice.
Is calling someone a pick me an insult?: Yes. It's a put-down, and it's often aimed unfairly at girls with "boyish" interests. Psychologists warn the label makes people defensive and can be as divisive as the behavior it mocks.
Where does pick me come from?: The plea is linked to Meredith Grey's "pick me, choose me, love me" speech on Grey's Anatomy in 2005. The slang label went viral on Black Twitter in 2016 and spread on TikTok from 2021.
Is a pick me the same as "not like other girls"?: Mostly. "Not like other girls" is the catchphrase of one pick-me style. Another style claims to be more traditional and wife-worthy than "modern" women. Both put other women down to stand out.
Is pick me the female version of simp?: It's often framed that way, but they differ. A simp over-invests in one person's attention. A pick me competes for approval by knocking down her peers.